The Fight Against Cynicism

In a certain way, Yaakov's victory over Lavan was that of optimism over cynicism. Even from the get-go, there was a certain measure of jadedness on the part of Lavan and Betuel; having the good fortune to marry into the family, not only a prominent prince and an affluent man, they tell Eliezer who has come to seek a wife for Isaac, "It comes from God, even were we to want to reject your offer our hands would be tied and we could neither speak bad or good against you." 

That penchant to seeing things with an evil eye, with a less than happy and almost untrusting countenance permeated the very existence of Haran, Lavan's home. The shepherds didn't trust each other, and so an excessively large stone was placed on the mouth of the well to prevent anyone from taking too much of the scarce waters without the knowledge of the others. 

Yaakov responds in kind: "Where are you from?" In other words, why are your principles so faulty, to have convened at the well at such an early hour when you could still be grazing? 

"Let your flock drink and then go graze," Yaakov instructs them.

"But, we need to wait for all of the shepherds," they respond; in other words, the inability to trust one another cripples their ability to maximize societal efficiency and create a better society. 

Yaakov is not held back by that narrow-minded, short-sighted view, giving him strength, metaphorically and physically. When he sees Rachel, without missing a beat, he is able to overturn the stone, bolstered by not only his desire to impress her, but his belief in mankind, something that gives strength, power and courage. 

Lavan's reach is tainted by that very narrow-mindedness. Again, when it came for Yaakov to ask for Rachel's hand, he is marked by the same cynicism: "You don't bring wealth," says the Medrash, "but after all you are family, so what choice do I have?"

And then, "If I could find someone else, I would give her to him, but all things considering, stay with me and we'll consider the matter."

But, in stark contradistinction, Yaakov believed in love: "The seven years were like a numbered few in his eyes."

That, it would seem to be the message of the Hagaddah. "Lavan was worse than Pharaoh, for he sought to destroy it all." The role of a Jew is to create goodness, kindness, which is why it was so important for Hashem to warn Lavan to speak "neither good, nor bad," for for some, their honey is worse than their sting.