Reconciliation after Adultery

A few years back I taught at a secular school; not long before, I was advised by my rabbi to take a course in pedagogy in the field of sexuality among teenagers - and he added, that I would be remiss in my professional responsibilities if I did not do so. 

In the first meeting, among the very embarassing questions we were confronted with - one struck me in particular: Who thinks that adultery in a marriage is unforgivable? I (save a few very modestly dressed Arab women - I could see their eyes, but not much more) was the only Jewish person who said yes. 

This past week's portion speaks to that very reality. A relationship founded on trust and integrity, is cast in doubt and proven lacking. 

A woman warned by her husband to not place herself in isolation with another man is seen behind close doors in a way that arouses suspicion, and great envy and jealousy on his part. The couple is escorted by two scholars to the High Temple, where she is compelled to swear to her innocence and drink bitter waters that will test her faithfulness. 

There is a fascinating Midrash that states that when King David was digging to the depths of the world, he accidentally uncovered the primordial source of the world's water; the waters gushed forwards, and David asked if one were allowed to write God's name on a shard of clay to cease the water from overtaking the world. He even went so far as to say if somebody knows - and doesn't respond - he will be put to death. Achitofel, his rabbi and spiritual guide said yes: "If the Cohen is allowed to erase God's name to bring peace between husband and wife, surely to save the world you can as well!"

The question, thus, is, "Was that the point of bringing the suspected woman to the Beit Hamikdash? To restore peace - or was it to embarass her, denigrate her, or for her husband to avenge his shame?"

It would seem to be that there's a striking message here: the woman's ability to prove her innocence is proof of Hashem's intent to see the good in the woman, and enable her to right things with her husband. If she does not swear, she cannot return to her husband, but if she does, Hashem's name is erased, summarily signifying that a world where man and wife can not live together in harmony is one where His name has no place, reflecting Hashem's deep-seeded desire to see peace restored to the home.