Man and Wife: Moshe and Tziporah

One of the difficulties of conceptualizing how the Torah relates to a certain topic or issue, is that the case studies we use are often scant, or few and far between. One of the topics that seems most enigmatic, on the face of it, is the dynamics between husband and wife. What is the role of each one? Often, it is the Medrash that enriches our understanding in such matters, but that notwithstanding, frequently, Medrashim are in conflict with each other, and a simple reading of the text can seem hard to achieve.

With that said, I'd like to look at the dynamic between Moshe Rabbeinu and Tziporah, because it is one of the oddest there seems to be in the Torah.

Yitro's daughters are saved by Moshe Rabbeinu at the well-side after the local shepherds in Midian were wont to prey on them. They go home, making no mention of Moshe, until their father asks them why they had hastened so, at which point they divulge that an Egyptian man had saved them; Yitro says, "Why didn't you invite him for bread?" – surely, perhaps they would have done so, but probably, it wasn't in keeping with social norms at the time for single, let alone married women, to invite home strangers for "bread" – and as predictable, Moshe becomes the husband of one of his daughters, supplanting them as the family shepherd.

Next we see of Moshe, Hashem has revealed Himself to him, and Moshe goes back home, i.e. to Yitro's home, and asks him for leave to return to his people in Egypt, and free them from bondage. Moshe does not speak to Tziporah. His father-in-law wishes him well, he leads his wife and children on donkey-back, they reach a hotel where Moshe fails to circumcise his son, his wife takes a flintstone after seeing the angel of death, saves their son's, and presumably, husband's life, and then Tziporah chides her husband for his failure, and saying that he could have brought blood upon their incipient home.

On the way to Egypt, Aharon meets them – sending Tziporah and their children home, only to be brought back to Moshe after the Exodus, and either before or after the giving of the "Ten Commandments," depending on the narrative commentary.

Tziporah saved their child's life, a great deed, but was left by herself during the most momentous moments of our nation's life.

Then, she does not come back to Moshe on her own accord, but rather is taken ("Vayikach Yitro – and Yitro took.."). Yitro sends to Moshe, "Come out for my accord, then, if not for mine, your wife's, and then if not hers, her children's."  

Where is Moshe in the picture? Where is the romantic, tender affection, and why hasn't Moshe gone out to greet his wife, but rather, according to the text, Yitro?

Thereafter, at a later point, Moshe's relationship with his wife is supplanted by the one he shares with God, Moshe ultimately leaving his wife to be in constant contact with God.

Could it be that this sacrifice, this rigorous relationship Moshe shared with his wife, choosing his people before her, and then God, before her, was what led their children to, as the Gemorah writes, "go off the derech," and according to some opinions, even become idol worshippers?!